


when you're broken on the ground, you will be found

by MaddieandChimney



Series: Madney: Hello, Global Pandemic [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, mentions of canon spoilers as per 404
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29311821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: Maddie had spent Buck's entire life protecting him from something that was always meant to come out in the end and it kills Chimney to see her struggling so much with the realisation.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Madney: Hello, Global Pandemic [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120586
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	when you're broken on the ground, you will be found

The sound of Margaret’s gasping sobs fill the otherwise silent apartment after he hears the bedroom door slamming shut. For a moment, Chimney doesn’t know what to do, eyes gazing to the spot Maddie had previously occupied before he gulps down the lump in his throat. It’s hard because he had witnessed first hand what the loss of a child can do to a parent but he’s also  _ felt _ the pain of losing a brother. His heart aches for the two parents sitting across from him but more so for his girlfriend and for the loss she was never allowed to grieve and then for Buck, someone he considered to be his brother, for being caught up in the middle of a great loss without ever knowing. 

It’s still hard to fully shake the feeling of betrayal deep within him that doesn’t feel fair but he had opened up to Maddie. He had shared the pain of losing Kevin and of his mother, without ever knowing that at such a young age, she had felt that pain, too. It’s a bitter pill to swallow - the knowledge that maybe Maddie hides a lot more of herself from him than he had ever thought. And he gets it, on some level, because she’d been through hell and back and a twenty-nine year promise made in the midst of devastation may have felt too heavy a weight on her shoulders to have dropped into conversation. It still feels as though it had come from nowhere, this… deep, dark Buckley family secret that they’ve kept from the youngest Buckley his entire life in the belief that they’re protecting him. Chimney knows that Maddie is struggling with the idea that it doesn’t matter how much you try and protect someone from the truth, those thoughts and feelings run deeper than anyone could ever care to admit out loud. 

She’d spent his entire life protecting him from something that was always meant to come out in the end and it kills him to see her struggling so much with the realisation. 

There’s an overwhelming sense of relief when Philip, without prompting, suggests that he and his wife leave after the three of them have sat in silence for a few moments. The door closes for the second time in just ten minutes, although it feels as though an eternity has gone by and Chimney finds himself lingering between the closed bedroom door and the kitchen, knowing he needs to comfort his pregnant girlfriend but not knowing what to say to her. It’s easy to see past his own hurt when it comes to her, he’d do anything for Maddie but… it  _ does _ hurt. How many times had they told each other no more secrets or no more hiding from each other? 

Chimney takes a deep breath, pulling out his phone to shoot a quick text to Buck, knowing that it’s going to get to a point when this will all come out. He can’t stop the other man from being hurt or from feeling an intense level of betrayal; now, not only from Maddie and their parents but from him, too. He’s stuck between being relieved that she had opened up to him in a way that was extremely difficult for her - it had been over twenty-nine years since she’d even uttered the name Daniel - but feeling burdened at the intensity of the secret that he’s being forced to keep from Buck. But then… Maddie had been in this situation at just nine years old, unable to grieve or process the loss of her brother. 

The moment the text is sent, he slips his phone back into his pocket, making his way to their bedroom. There’s a physical pain lingering in his chest at the sound of Maddie’s sobs coming through the closed door when he gets close enough, as any doubt he’d had of walking into the room disappears, finding himself practically being tugged in there by some invisible force. If hearing it had hurt, seeing her lying on her side as sobs wrack her body, makes it feel as though his heart has just been ripped from his chest. “Maddie.” His voice is gentle, not wanting to startle her as he carefully moves towards the bed. “They’re gone.” 

“F-for good?” 

Chimney had known that her parents had cut her off before she had gotten married to Doug, he had known how difficult it had been to try and mend that relationship she had with them and how it was far from being a good, healthy relationship. She wanted something, though, not even for herself but for their daughter and he couldn’t fault her that. They had the Lee’s, but there would be inevitable questions and before they had known about the baby, Maddie hadn’t had any contact with her parents for over fifteen years. Chimney’s own contact with his father had been sporadic, but at least there was the excuse of thousands of miles between them. For the years that Maddie had spent living with Doug, there had been no more than ten miles between her and her parents. Ten miles may as well have felt like thousands to her at the time. 

“I don’t know,” He whispers, sliding onto the bed behind her to press his chest against her back and his lips to her shoulder. His hand falls to her stomach, next to where her hand lies, admiring - not for the first time - how protective she is of the little girl growing inside of her and how different she wants her life to be. He knows it could have been easy for both of them to have never taken this path, to have… decided there was too much baggage and too much trauma, even if they really wanted it. But they both wanted to be better than what they had, they wanted more for their daughter. They wanted what they had deserved and what they had never had, “but it’s going to be okay.” 

Chimney doesn’t know if he fully believes those words himself but she nods her head and takes a long, trembling breath in an attempt to calm herself down. There’s a moment of silence between the two of them as he scrambles through the thoughts in his head, trying to find the right thing to say to her, even if he knows there’s nothing he can say or do to make any of this better. He loves her and he loves their daughter but he knows that’s not enough to heal the pain left behind by her childhood and then by everything that had followed. “I just want her to have a better life, I want her to know how loved she is, that she has a family.” 

“Maddie, she’s going to have a family with or without them. She’s got so, so many people fighting in her corner already. She’s already so loved and so wanted, you never have to worry that she’s going to…” He cuts himself off with a frown, feeling the own tears starting to pool in his own eyes when he thinks of a younger Maddie, being sat down by her parents and forced to make a promise she never should have had to make. She’d been so hurt so much by people who were meant to love her, people who were meant to protect her and make her feel safe. 

“... to be alone?” Maddie finishes for him, his lips moving to the back of her neck when he brushes her hair away. It hurts but he nods his head in agreement anyway, knowing he’d felt the exact same way when his mother had gone. “Buck can’t ever know, I can’t lose him,  _ she _ can’t lose him and he… he needs us. If-if he… he’ll be alone.”

“I think you need to give him a chance. He’s going to find out the truth one day, Maddie and if it’s not you who tells him…” 

“It shouldn’t have to be me.” The words come hastily, gasped out through her tears and he knows. He knows it’s not her responsibility, that Daniel never should have been a secret in the first place but Maddie is the only Buckley that her brother trusts and it’s clear that neither Margaret or Philip have any intention of reopening old wounds. 

He sighs, closing his eyes when tears of his own begin to fall, hiding his face in the back of her neck as he mumbles against her skin, “I know it shouldn’t. I’m so sorry, Maddie.” It wasn’t fair, sometimes it feels as though she had never had a chance in the first place and it breaks his heart to know that this beautiful, kind woman had seen so much hurt. Through the shock of what she had told him, the pieces start to fall together - how reserved she can be, how she hides behind a desire to help as many people as she can whilst never really taking the time to help herself. “I love you. You deserved better, you both did and I’m so sorry you never got that.” 

“We’ll do better, right? We can be better?” The vulnerability in her voice forces his body to press up against hers a little more, needing to feel her as close as possible when he nods his head. Her tears cause a throbbing, borderline torturous pain to rip through his chest, even more so when a whimper falls from her lips and he wants nothing more than to wrap both of his arms around her until her torment stops. 

“I promise you, Maddie. We’ll do better.” Her hand moves on top of his, nails digging into his skin slightly as she holds on tightly and he listens to the sound of her softening crying, knowing she’s started to tire herself. “I love you,” He repeats, so she knows that he will always stand by his promise on saying it enough for the two of them, knowing that after tonight that not only is Daniel at the forefront of her mind but Doug, too. “I love both of you. You’ll never feel alone again, I promise.” 


End file.
